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Not only is this type of thinking harmful to you, it is unproductive because it doesn’t help solve the real problem. If you find yourself in this situation, avoid blaming yourself and avoid enabling his drinking habit. Have a calm but serious discussion about the issue and point out specifically how it is harming him, you, and your lives together.


This is the part where I’m realistic about the effort required, but explain that the reward is worthwhile. This is the part with the somber yet attainable happy ending. I marriage changes after sobriety used to find Sheri’s independence very attractive. Now I see it for the barrier to intimacy that it is. When she got to know me, she learned not to trust me specifically.

How to Help Someone Addicted to Alcohol

Verbal aggression is twice as likely to occur if alcohol has been consumed in the previous 4 hours by the perpetrator. Physical aggression is 3 to 4 times more likely. And twice again as likely if the victim is drinking. So, at just shy of two years sober and two weeks into our newly minted marriage, my husband and I sat on the stiff, gray couch in our new therapist’s office. Running away from what caused mental and emotional pain — whether it be a dead-end job or a relationship at the crest of its honeymoon phase — was the only way I knew how to cope. When I first quit drinking, it was a shock to my husband. Sure, nothing guarantees that a relationship will endure this massive life change.

  • They often suffer as well, and they have the burden of trying to help and facing the decision of what to do if their help isn’t enough.
  • Listening to those who can provide unbiased and unflooded suggestions outside of your own is often the best approach.
  • Children and close family members can greatly benefit from family therapy, which focuses on helping relationships to heal and improve.
  • I am constantly stopped by people asking if he is ok, they even stop my friends and family to ask.
  • Entering a recovery program is about surrendering to those who may have better ideas than you, your family, and the alcohol user.

They may not go to bars, and they may not even get drunk very often. My definition of an alcoholic is someone who cannot follow the Policy of Joint Agreement because of their craving for alcohol.

Ways Addiction Treatment Can Save A Marriage

Couples may also be taking the necessary steps to make sure their marriage stays healthy. That could include individual or couples counseling when necessary for relationship tune-ups, or checking in regularly with their support groups. When asking whether marriage can survive sobriety, the answer can be yes—if a couple takes a healthy approach to managing their problems and discussing their feelings. It will take time to rebuild trust so it’s important to not put pressure on each other and instead take it one day at a time.